Why do I try to take three kids anywhere?

So, I had to take Mason to the doctors office. He has tubes in his ears and he has developed a mean case of swimmers ear. I tried to call the ENT doc to get his ear drops re-filled, but after three messages to the nurse and no return call I had to take him into the pediatricians office. I know that all of this seems harmless but in a few minutes you will see how one decision quickly turns an entire trip.

I picked Mason up from soccer camp and rather than going on a solo mission, I thought I should bring the other kids too. They love to play with the toys and get stickers and suckers, so why not. I got the kids and everyone was in a fine mood. Abbey and Jack were wearing slippers (which is another story), but they were fresh off of naps and snacks and ready for fun. The car ride was great and when we got to the office the waiting room was empty, plenty of playing room!

I was enjoying an old issue of People, when I hear Mason yelling, "Mom, someone is stinky." It is then that I remember I don't have a diaper bag. I mean, why would I. The doctor's office will surely have them. By this time there is a bit of a line at the front desk, so I take the brood into the restroom and attempt to clean Jack up. There are no diapers in the restroom and I am already well into the changing process, so I have to make do. I clean Jack up and clean the diaper up (yes, I know, gross, but what can you do). In the mean time, Abbey is taking all the urine sample cups and trying to fill them up with water at the sink and asking me if I want a drink. Mason also decided that since he was in the bathroom he should go. Well, the toilet is meant for toddlers, not first graders. He towered above the toilet and when I looked over, I saw him peeing everywhere but in the toilet. All the sudden he yells, my shirt is wet. Yes, he managed to pee all over the front of his shirt. I am beginning to think this is some sick joke, right? How can all of this happen in a few short minutes. I managed to get everyone cleaned up and the bathroom as well and we head back to the waiting room.

The nurse finally calls for us to come back and they take us to what is most definitely the smallest room they have. Perfect! As soon as we get back there, my kids lose their freakin' minds. Mason starts crawling up onto the table and I think he is going to try to jump down to the floor. Abbey and Jack are squealing at the top of their lungs because the room echos, special! I am trying to talk to the nurse and get her filled in on Mason's dilemma. While I am talking Mason is yelling "Hey, I just need my ear drops! Where are they!" In my head I am thinking the exact same thing. Why couldn't they just give me the stupid prescription over the phone and save me this nightmare. But, I guess rules are rules and they need to see the patient. I bet they will rethink that policy after this visit.

The nurse leaves and says the doctor will be in shortly. That is the funniest thing I have heard all day! So, the kids continue playing/screaming and then I hear Mason again, "Who stinks?" I can't believe it! Jack pooped again. On the plus side there are diapers in these rooms. No sooner do I get done changing the nastiest diapers I have seen in a long time (note to self no more oranges), when Abbey says "I pooped too!". Great, more diapers and poop!

Finally the doctor comes in! It isn't the usual doctor we see, and this doctor comes in wearing a Batman utility belt, which is great! However, since it isn't the norm my kids are pretty fascinated. Mason especially wants to push the buttons, which are located, well where belt buckles are. So my kids are basically poking at the doc's privates. Lovely. We finally get everyone off the "bat-belt" and the exam can finally begin. I would like to say I was able to hear what the doctor said, but at the end of the day all I know is that we got ear drops.

When I got home and told Troy of the ordeal he said, "I wondered why you were going to take all three?"

Lesson learned: One child per doctor visit.